Is this the way to be ?

I live a life dats not mine
For the me inside me cant survive
In dis world I lose myself
In the rut I just disappear
I come out wen I hav my cards write
Wats the point to play wen I caant put up a fight
Till den I bid my time
Wait to pounce , wait till its rite
Wen the wheels will turn n the world ll be mine
I ll be the fierce hunter .. n just go 4 the kill
Sometimes I wish to be
like d one I wanna be
To be myself just simple n true
A clean slate .. prestine n new
No strings attached no patched up past
Not too much to ask it my seem
But universe is a like a mean little kid
Like a puppet master wid a mean humor
It makes me live as me,
on its own terms it seems.
It’s a game and I am the pawn
Till I figure out the rules .. might as well go on !